For some of us we never get tired of watching Jesus film especially the period prior, during and after his crucifixion.

He actually paid for our sins even before we were born. I recall the days we used to watch them on large screens at Kisseman park.

The part that made us cry was that scene in the movie where the character Jesus was being nailed to the cross and he screamed so loudly! OMG!

Last Easter Sunday made me cry again after so many years of not crying when I became an adult and got to know what is sweet and what is not! I was watching one of such movies with my 3-year old daughter and trying to tell her the Jesus story alongside.

She kept asking questions and the one that I could not really give an answer to was ‘what has He done wrong?’. Suddenly she kept quiet and watched the unfolding story.

Then Jesus was being nailed to the cross with a large nail and a big hammer and He screamed. Then my daughter started crying and drew closer to the TV set and touched it saying: ‘Jesus, please sorry sorry okay’ Sorry sorry okay’.

Immediately she left the room weeping. In fact, I couldn’t continue watching the rest of the film again; after all I had watched it many times though that was not the reason I discontinued watching the movie.

I followed her to my bedroom and saw her seated in a corner with her hands around her – you know how kids do it when they are sad.

She was still sobbing and said nothing even when I convinced her Jesus has already risen!

I don’t think I will ever make that mistake again by showing such a movie to her even though the lessons learnt are for life.

She spoilt my easter Sunday as she refused to be her active self throughout the day.

I also cried like that before as a kid o knowing that Jesus being our Savior and the one who paid our debts went through such torture to death. But what has changed? Peer pressure in adulthood? Then let me go back to childhood er!

God forgive us our sins! ‘Jesus, please sorry sorry okay for my continuous sinful ways including those I deliberately do and come back to pray for forgiveness and you still forgive me.

Indeed, ‘God has compassion for those who fear Him’ – Bishop E.A.T Sackey. Do you fear God? This is a question directed to myself.   

Many of those who do Yesu Yesu posts on their whatsapp statuses are as guilty as I. Some post and expect that nobody views them.

Some feel good and proud when someone views their statuses. Me, when I’m feeling bored I go on people’s whatsapp statuses and watch short short videos o. but I do well not to view some people’s statuses.

They are the people who feel too important when you view their statuses and knowing them, I won’t even go there.

There is so much to learn from some status updates but others are simply annoying. Some are educative as well as informative.

Others are simply pure humour. I have personally not started doing status updates and I still don’t know why I should.

It’s the best way to expose one to the world, positively or negatively. If it is positive, you are likely to make some frenemies sad with your updates and they will devise ways and means to ‘drop’ you from your joy.

If it’s negative, they rejoice. Update your status with filthy things about yourself and you will not be a target and they would have no plans to harm your future.

At best stop insinuating by not updating at all.

I have observed that some of the lady friends on my whatsapp contacts who activate their statuses are those who are unfortunately having relationship challenges.

Ablavi, my ex-side eyi is the one whose updates on her status I watch a lot because it’s a whole industry.

She can actually post: ‘I am going to take my bath’. If she is in high spirits, she will post things like: ‘It’s been God since day one’. It’s a lie. A married man, me, is her side-man! Hahai!

Ablavi is such that from the day she enters a new relationship, everyone must know what is happening.

It’s like a product life cycle. From the beginning she would post things like: ‘my heavenly better half’, ‘my Baby’ even if this baby is her grandfather’s classmate at Ashalley Botwe HSH. Hahahahaha!

When the relationship is growing and the problems start, you are likely to see on her status: ‘I love the woman I am becoming’, ‘if you don’t treat people well, karma will judge you’, ‘people will hurt you and then act like you hurt them’.

After that, she would put a candle celebrating a friend’s birthday with the caption: ‘the love is deep; my fighting girlfriend, have a blast on your birthday’. Time dey!

After a while, the status goes blank. Wait for another two days and the status bounces back and reads: ‘self-love’.

At this stage when you call her to advise her against such posts as people will read meanings into such posts, she will often sound indifferent and defensive: ‘but it’s nothing o; I just saw it somewhere and felt like posting it’.

It’s another lie. She has communicated what exactly she wants to say.

Next moment. The post is often short: ‘the woman in me; you will regret the day you treated me like this’. ‘when people treat you like you’ve got no value, act as if they don’t even exist’.

My dear Ablavi, if they don’t exist, why would you post something and expect a non-existing person to read and be advised? Hmmm!

Next will be: ‘all men are the same’. Then you should know that the product’s life cycle is plateauing.

And often, for the unlucky ones, the product life cycle takes another cycle and comes back after the initial excitement.

This time, Ablavi is in a new relationship and, you are likely to see posts such as: ‘all this while I’ve been wasting my time on pepper (referring to me). Welcome on board, my tiger-nut; you are God sent’.

‘God clears the id*ot for the angel who has just arrived’. (The id*ot she is referring to is me, I know)

Time still dey. Then the next moment, the post will change to: ‘So e bi so you dey?’ or: ‘Fake guy’. ‘I thought love is blind but as for this one di33333, thank God I can see creary’.

‘After all, you are even mormorni. You know yourself…U U U…I mean U’. Ablavi, why don’t you just call me, the person and give it to me well well and stop this mass attack of only one person?

The next moment is an update that will blow your mind: ‘hand bags for sale; dm me for cool deal’.

The next post after this one is almost automatic: ‘free delivery available. Call dispatch on 052….’! here, you may be angry at the several images of handbags on display in her status. Give her two weeks. It will change to: ‘Status closed for repairs’.

Ablavi is a very pretty lady o but she is unable to tell a man what she does not like in the face but would prefer to make it public on status updates.

‘Life is short, spend it with people who make you laugh and feel loved’. Really? I believe this applies to only two-week-old relationships.

When you see a status update like this, you can be sure someone is making Ablavi unhappy again and instead of her telling the person in the face, she would rather use it to author a book on status for everyone to read!

When the man in the relationship is stingy, trust me, the following post is most likely: ‘the best exercise for women is counting money as it relieves them of joint pains headaches and blood pressure including stroke’.

Abeg, status video producers and status hungry friends, everyone has one thing or the other going for him or not going for her. Keep quiet on your status small wae.

I am often put off anytime I see statuses displaying excessive gospel videos. They are often long and eat data roff roff as if tithe is being paid indirectly. Meanwhile, many of them wouldn’t do what they post o. ‘Sorry sorry okay, Jesus’.

‘If you are too good, it’s a shame; if you are too bad, it’s also a shame’.

I can assure you that somebody will pick this to update his or her status without understanding indepth what I mean here. Ao! Hmmmm!

Jesus, please like my 3-year-old said: ‘please sorry sorry okay for we do not know what we are doing even though most of us know what we are doing paaa! Please keep having mercy on us wae! We are too bad!

Oh Jesus, please sorry sorry okay!