Dear future wife,
I hope you’re doing well. Even though our paths have not yet crossed, I want to draw your attention to something I believe will spice our union.
Wherever you may be reading this from, please know that what I’m about to say matters to me, and so treat it with utmost importance.
Now over here in Ghana, many families prefer to use Saturdays to tidy their rooms and give their homes a refreshing outlook.
Even though this is not a bad idea, what I have realised is that, majority of the domestic cleaning on weekends is left to the women.
The men hardly participate. They either sit by the television to watch a weekend current affairs programme like Newsfile with Samson Lardy Anyenini, or flip the pages of a newspaper, with their legs comfortably crossed.
This is common in many Ghanaian homes, and this morning, I saw a similar scene when I went to the provision shop to buy bread for my breakfast.
Now let me describe what I saw.
A man, possibly in his fifties, was sitting in the shop with his head buried in a sports magazine. When I said I wanted to buy the bread, he asked me to wait; and that someone will soon attend to me.
It took the next three and a half minutes for a woman to come out from the house to slice the loaf I wanted.
She looked very busy; with two napkins on her shoulders. Clearly, I could tell that she was rushing out from the kitchen.
What confirmed my suspicion was that, after she had served me, the man asked, ‘aben anaa? To wit, ‘is the food ready?”
Evidently, it was the case of a man who was having the time of his life, while his wife juggled the kitchen and their shop together.
What even troubled my eyes was the magazine he was reading. It was a Chelsea magazine! Can you imagine?… Chelsea oo, Chelsea! But that’s a topic for another day.
Over here, the point I actually want to make is that, when we finally exchange our nuptial vows, I don’t want you to exhibit your love for me by breaking your back to keep the house.
Because honestly, that’s not my idea of a good woman. While I expect you to be ‘domestically potent’, keeping the house will be our collective responsibility and not your exclusive burden.
In that beautiful house we’ll buy at East Legon, I’ll want the two of us to be the cooks, gardeners and cleaners at the same time. On Saturdays like this, I’ll want both us to jump into our working gears together.
While you’re busily scrubbing the hall, I’ll want you to also hear the sound of my brush making our kitchen squeaky clean. Now tell me, won’t that be beautiful?
Later in the evening, we can step out as some new love birds. When we come back in the night, we can then crown our Saturday with details I cannot mention here.
But please bear in mind that, as a Sunday born, I always set Sundays aside to fast. This means, my Saturday evenings must be graced with hell before Sunday comes. Pretty one, I know you know what I mean.
And hey, don’t listen to those who say ladies who wear anklets are ‘bad girls’ okay? My dream is to meet you as a Kathryn Kuhlman, who’s also a Wendy Shay. Take care and see you soon.
Your dear husband, Paa Kwesi Schandorf
The essence of this piece is to urge men to make domestic work, a collective responsibility for all.
Cleaning is not exclusively for women, and husbands should please imbibe this to make homes better. Equality matters. Adios!
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