Texting a new romantic or sexual prospect can be a ton of fun. You might get to learn what their style of communication is and display your wit.
I love texting — it just might be my favourite form of communication, after carving my mom’s name into the sand at the beach. But sometimes, at the start of a relationship, you might not know what they’re interested in. If you want to know if your partner is looking for a relationship or a casual hookup, you may want to pay attention to texting signals that mean they’re only interested in sex. There’s nothing wrong with having casual sex if that’s what you’re both seeking out, but it’s always good to communicate about your intentions so that you’re both on the same page. Luckily, I spoke to the experts to get the info you need.
You might convey a lot of information over text — how you’re feeling when you’re available, what your take on the latest season of Fleabag is (amazing, I assume). But you might also convey romantic interest in someone else, and them in you. Remember — signals are just signals, so if someone is sending signals that mean they’re only interested in sex, that doesn’t mean it’s absolutely true. It just means you should keep it in mind and have an open and honest relationship about it moving forward.
Read on to find five text signals that indicate they’re only interested in sex.
1. MENTIONING A RECENT BREAKUP
If someone says they’re newly single, they might be indicating that they want to stay single for a while. “Anyone who mentions a breakup because they were not ready for something serious is not looking for a relationship,” founder of Rapport Relationships Jennifer Rhodes tells Elite Daily. Someone’s past breakup could give clues as to what they’re looking for currently, so keep this in mind.
2. THEY TEXT AT LATE HOURS
Your boo’s timestamp of the text can apparently give you a hint about what they really want. “One hint is they text you at odd hours of the day or night and say ‘Hey, you wanna hang out?’ or something similar,” Dr Gary Brown, a prominent couples therapist in Los Angeles, tells Elite Daily. “Not exactly romantic, and it is likely they just want sex.” Keep in mind when this person is texting you that some people do keep different hours, but others can be mostly interested in sex, so it’s always good to be careful.
3. BRINGING UP SEX TOO QUICKLY
If someone seems too eager to talk about getting it on, they might only be interested in sex. “Anyone who brings up sex in the first two seconds of dating is not serious,” Dr Rhodes says. “Move on and find someone who understands the fine art of sensuality and seduction.” Claudia Cox, relationship coach and founder of Text Weapon, echoes her sentiment. “Are they only interested in superficial conversations that revolve around your looks, your next hook up or your sexual preferences? If it feels like they are only telling you what you want to hear, and not showing their true selves, then proceed with care.” Of course, someone interested in a relationship would also be interested in sex, but it can be helpful to keep this signal in your thoughts when texting someone you’re hooking up with or talking to.
4. THEY DON’T SUGGEST GOING OUT
If someone’s texts are always about hanging out at one of your apartments, they may just be looking for sex. “One indicator is that they text you and only want to hang at their place or your place,” Dr Brown says. “Typically, they never send a text that says, ‘Would you like to go out for dinner?'” If the person you’re into doesn’t take the time to plan dates or even suggest outdoors activities, that could be a signal they’re just looking for sex. However, you should keep in mind other factors, like whether or not they’re able to spend money on going out to eat, before coming to conclusions.
5. YOU DON’T FEEL GREAT WHEN YOU RECEIVE A TEXT FROM THEM
If you’re interested in something more serious (and only if), you might not feel great about receiving texts from someone who’s only interested in sex. Trust your intuition — it may be the biggest signal of all. “When you receive a text from them, you feel dirty,” Dr. Brown says. “You can tell by how you feel when they text about sex. Do you feel good or do you feel turned off by their approach?” Cox echoes his thoughts. “Know what you want. If you are interested in a long term relationship, then stop texting them.” Just wanting sex doesn’t have to be a turn-off, but if it’s not what you’re looking for, you should trust your intuition when you receive their texts.
It’s totally fine to just want to have casual sex. However, if it’s not what you’re looking for and you’re talking to someone you like, their texts might be able to give you some information about whether or not they want to get more serious. It’s always important to keep the communication open with the person you’re seeing, so if you have concerns, don’t be afraid to bring them up! And just remember — even if they are interested only in sex, you’ll find someone who is interested in the same things as you. So happy dating!